Homemade Parachute

Just for you, this Monday, the 6^th of September, 2010

Trying Design for Trying Times

| Quality Electrickal Broadsides |

Serving the Nation since 3:04 pm!

Works & Operations Dept.

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Mr. Hoffman’s Electro-Phantasm

Predating Homemade Parachute itself, Mr. Hoffman’s galvinic leaflet is a source of constant yet vague inspiration to us all, here at the place from where “Over there” is really just a little behind you, where you can almost, but not quite, make out what it is, or rather, what it wants to be. New. Improved. How can your life be complete without it? Alan Hoffman satisfies all needs, if you know what we mean.

http://www.homemadeparachute.com/alanhoffman/

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Fathead Rumble: Fun for almost the Whole Family!

Sweeping the nation into the great metaphorical dustbin of the floodplains of Manitoba, Fathead Rumble once had both a moral and some educational purpose, but we forget the details now. Still, we feel a need to offer cheap entertainments and diversions of an elecktrickal nature from time to time, and this is pretty much the time. Laffs for All.

Pechet+Robb: Masons to the Stars

Pechet+Robb, connoisseurs of mini-marshmallows that they are, knew there was no one better equipped to construct their multi-coloured phantasmagora than Luzform Design and Homemade Parachute. We learned more than we ever hoped to know about mini-marshmallows, and we had hoped in our youth to learn quite a bit. Utilizing space-age typing techniques & trickery, the outcome is even more nutritious than it looks.

www.pechetandrobb.com | www.pechetandrobb.ca

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The All-Star Backwoods Revival Review (Revisited)

If you see just one live reading this year, possibly you have been mistaking “authors” for the recently classified “colossal squid”, which, while an entertaining notion, is quite inaccurate. None of this Very Special Event’s featured performers has a single tentacle, and only one has been seen attacking a sperm whale, and even that was just a metaphor for a lost childhood. Instead, they will read, to you, in a sad voice, stories concerned with emotional detachment, empty rooms, and nomadic lust. Laffs for all.

MUSICK!: The New Science!

Scientists, Engineers, Philosophers and Doctors of Physick have harnessed mysterious Electrickal Engergies and Vapours to achieve a major breakthrough in their understanding of the Natural Laws of Acoustics: MUSICK!

MUSICK allows the direct transmission of Ideas, Feelings, Emotions and Experiences from the artist or “performer” directly into the intellect of the listener.

http://www.homemadeparachute.com/sites/newmusic/

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Winsor Gallery: Art For Your Living Room!

When the Winsor Gallery in trendy down-town Vancouver opened its doors, there was only one choice for their propaganda providers, and as it turns out, there was only one art gallery we were willing to work with, when we whipped this winning web-thingy into shape.

http://www.winsorgallery.com

Adventures in the Desert

Dubai Adventure chronicles Allyson and Peter Pendl’s time in the United Arab Emirates, where Allyson teaches Communications at the Dubai Women’s College

http://www.homemadeparachute.com/dubai/

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Mr. Fairbridge’s Time in the Spotlight

Derek Fairbridge asked us, and us alone, to design his press package for New Music West 2002. In keeping with Mr. Fairbridge’s predeliction for best-forgotten albums of the 1970s and ’80s, a 12-inch gatefold lp sleeve was produced, providing ample room for lyrics, press clippings, a biography, and video stills.

Mr. Henry Hoffman’s Initial Missive

Master Henry Maxwell Hoffman was but a wee month old when he became our youngest client (yet). Homemade Parachute is proud to have delivered Mr. Hoffman’s first missive to the world, and looks forward to a long and rewarding relationship with our easiest-to-please client.

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Mr. Fairbridge’s Electro-Shill

There is a long wandering tale behind the photon-publication prepared for Mr. Derek Fairbridge, but we won’t take up your valuable time here. Needless to say you should visit Mr. Fairbridge’s ‘Electro-Shill’, and perhaps redistribute some of your enormous wealth in his direction. Enjoy!

http://www.derekfairbridge.com

Waltz Darling: The Band! The Phenomena! The Smell!

Pearl Jam. R.E.M. The New Pornographers. Waltz Darling has been compared to all of these bands, and yet isn’t as good as sounds like none of them. This little circular has recently been replaced, but this is where ‘it’ all began.

http://www.homemadeparachute.com/sites/waltzdarling/

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Mr. Fairbridge’s Phonograph

A classic Canadian rawk album cover, other than it’s shocking lack of Rush references, for a classic Canadian rawk record, other than its shocking cornucopia of Rush, Trooper, and Streetheart references, albeit subtlely hidden. Spot them all and win a prize, sure to be a collectible one day.

Mr. Hoffman’s Poster/Catalogue

The project that launched a thousand careers, for the face that launched a thousand ships. No, wait, not ships, what was that.... Anyway, this is where the ’Chute started, but most assuredly, not where it ended, at least as far as we know, and we’ve kind of been keeping an eye on things.

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Personel Dept.

Ms. Stacey Noyes, Prop.

Stacey Noyes is a print junkie - a graphic designer with a background in book publishing. It was in publishing that she was introduced to design and was fascinated by how words and ideas could be coloured, emphasized or transformed using typography and imagery. LuzForm is her opportunity to balance design and writing.

http://www.luzform.com

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Mr. James Baker, Prop.

What could you need to know that you don’t already about Mr. James Baker, co-founder and Director of Creative Finances here at the ’Chute? If your curiousity has not yet been ‘sated’, you may inquire further, at your own risk. On the other hand, there are many other, more interesting people to read about, such as Adam Lewis Schroeder.

http://www.homemadeparachute.com/james/

Motors & Engineering Dept.

Fancy Words About Typing

Homemade Parachute takes its civic and democratic responsibilites seriously, very very seriously, and proudly contributes to the future of the dominion through public service, as exemplified by this series of tutorials aimed at nerd–, geek–, and basement–dweller–wannabes of all shapes and sizes.

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Director Made Difficult

It’s well known that the harshest pill can still be swallowed, if properly sugar-coated, and the sugar coating doesn’t come any sweeter than here at the ’Chute. And the pills don’t come any harsher than Director, the Automatic Amusement Maker that has delited generations of youngsters since Edison’s day.

Technical Support and Meanderings

A brand new feature to Homemade Parachute, our resident Computational Artefect Technologist, or C.A.T., Theodore J. Leopard, discusses all manner of issues, from dry kibble to wet food to treats and chicken and ice cream. This new resource is sure to become the paramount place for rational and gentlemanly debate throughout the empire.

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Research & Development Dept.

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Doing to Design what Process does to Cheese

Phantasmagorical & Luminous Energies are the source of the HomemadE Parachute DesIgn Process (hep-dip). Harnessed by an ages-old Iterative Methodological Formula, Mysterious Voices and Spirits guide our steady hand to a serious of solutions and decisions. Combined with our renowned Intuition and Sophistry, as well as our limitless vats of reductio ad absurdum, even at these early stages our final work is well and truly committed to: No Pillars of Salt for us!

Cheap, Ill-Thought Through Philosophy

Philosophy, moral: see black hole. Philosophy, business: see sham. Philosophy, design, see charm, grace, and more-fun-than-a-squirrel-down-your-pants.

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Weekly Specials

Homemade Parachute offers many special deals and bargains, many featuring frogs and/or tortured metaphors, broken rhymes, and often tortured and broken poets. What does this week have in store for you?

Words We Have Written, and Frequently Regretted

Homemade Parachute words are to literature as process cheese is to five-year-old cheddar: rich and calorie-laden, quick ’n’ easy, and oh-so-tasty. Add a dollop of mustard or relish and make sandwiches out of ’em. Are you perhaps getting a little peckish? We thought so.

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Amusements & Diversions Dept.

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A Guide To Romance

We know what you want. We know what you need. And now, we can help you get a little of that ‘special attention’. Works especially well on the ‘sophisticated’ lady or gentleman. Easier than ever: just fill out the boxes and wait for the responses to come flocking to your door.

Goodbye To All That: The Game!

Goodbye To All That is a slick, sick portrayal of life in the trenches. Every word guaranteed accurate 19 times out of 20. Get the young ’uns started on this one, and they’ll be up half the night shaking in their sleepers. Our finest ‘game’ yet!

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The Interstitial Paradigm Shifter

The Official Homemade Parachute Interstitial Paradigm Shifter [and top-down bottom-up scalable deployment core-class implementor]

It’s tough work leveraging beyond-the-box iterative experiencings. You need help. Try to minimize that latency in the task priority synchronization, or else your asset delivery mechanisms won’t scale into the pipeline! Meta-try it out!

Goodbye To All That: The Toy!

Starting with the song titles to one of the greatest conceptual phonograph recordings of the 20^th century, this amusing yet structurally sound and morally instructive toy has been offered free of charge from Homemade Parachute for many years now. Some assembly required, though no actualy talent is needed to complete the diorama.

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Historical Dept.

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A Short Studio Tour

From our humble origins in the bottom of a shoebox, to our current status as one of the largest broomcloset-renters in the hemisphere, we’re always happy to show off our pleasant little abode and demonstrate the sheer power of modern industry and how it can work for you, our dear patron....

A Brief History of Homemade Parachute

The history of Homemade Parachute is so grand, so expansive, it needs not one, not two, but three capital letters, perhaps HIsTory, for the power of the punch we pack, or HistORy, for the horror of not being us you must feel. Can you bear to read this glorious tract? Can you bear not to?

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Old News Dept.

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Incarnations & Incarcerations

Never throw anything away, that’s our motto, or one of them, nestled in between “If you’re going to bet on the dogs, go with a winner” and “We just push the buttons and hope for the best.” Presented here, for your inevitable boredom, past versions of our happily pointless face to the World.

Contact Dept.

We always like to hear from you, especially if you are in a foreign land, drinking coffee and eating pie, agree that Winnipegers have the most neutral English accent in the world, or are going to offer us money. Particularly if you are going to offer us money. Spare a fiver for the poor designer, guv?