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Noah Mackenzie Baker-Noyes: 6 month progress report
{ Noah }

In a Nutshell,

Noah is, as the hipsters say, “transitioning” from being a baby to being a slightly more grown up baby. But more of a person, that’s for sure, a person with bluntly stated wants, demands, like and dislikes. Oh, how bluntly it is stated....

1/2

1/2 Way to the Moon

As a flying baby, it’s only a matter of time before Noah leaves the gravitational pull of this planet altogether, and heads out for the moon or one of the other 8/9/10/23 planets in our Solar System. (Noah currently has no opinion on Pluto’s status as either planet or Kuiper Belt object, or at least not one we have been able to discern.)

1/2

1/2 Way to Jail

Now that Noah has discovered hands, she is well on her way to becoming the notorious Flower Thief of Cypress St, grabbing flowers from the community garden behind the building. Purple so far seems a favourite colour, but you didn’t hear it from us.

3/4

3/4 Way to Boogiein’ Down the Avenue

Along with hands come feet (or, more properly, footses), and with footses comes the desire to dance. Look for Noah Go-Goah at your local discoteque soon.

1/4

1/4 Way to the Terrible Twos

Still a ways to go, thank God.

1/3

1/3 as Tall as Dad

At just over 24 inches, Noah is just a little more than 1/3 Dad’s height, and given the geometry of 3-dimensional space (assuming, as Noah does, that the extra 7 or 8 dimensions predicted by String Theory are a) impossible to calculate anyways, b) great places to store belly button lint, and c) kind of silly, really), is roughly 1/9 Dad’s total mass, meaning that afore-mentioned trip to the moon will be about nine times easier. See, isn’t math fun, Noah?

1/32

1/32 Way to Driving

Wow, just 15 1/2 years until Noah can apply for a driver’s license. How is it all happening so fast? In the meantime, she’s motoring around at a slightly slower, and considerably more ecologically-friendly, pace. Look out, Goldbug!

1/2

1/2 Way to Sleep

Slowly coming to terms with this sleep bushwah, Noah can, with the able assitance of Iago the Ladybug, Birnam Bear, Edgar the Ugly Thing, and Piglet, get herself to dreamland. The other half the time, war is waged.

1/10

1/10 of the Time, You can See Her Face!

It’s no great secret that Noah’s parents are, quite frankly, enablers of the worst sort, fostering the kind of dependency that only years of therapy will be able to eradicate.

Mo’ Noah can be found at her gallery.