A Brilliant Fucking Idea

Based on a Twitterlogue with mantia, I hereby present the ultimate Star Wars conundrum solution.

For each of the four versions of the Original Trilogy (original releases, late 90s Special Edition, original DVD, and now BluRay), there should be a checklist with each alteration, and a price, and you could compile your own, customized version of each film to suit your exact tastes and political/aesthetic/cultural/parenting ideology. Say A New Hope came at a base price of $19.99 for a digital version, not unlike iTunes movies. Did Han shoot first, last, or at the same time as Greedo? That's a freebie. Did Han visit Jabba before ferrying Luke and Ben off world? If he was a fat Scotsman, that's 99¢ extra; if a CGI slug, that's $1.99. Want the original Emperor instead of Ian McDiarmid in ESB? Why not kick George 49¢ for that?

Every film is so loaded with slight and significant alterations at this point no-one's going to be happy, so why not allow us to make our own films? This is the future of interactive cinema we've been promised all these years, but only Star Wars is worthy, or would elicit the interest to make it worthwhile. A uniquely personalized Star Wars, compiled for you: it's the ultimate DRM, to boot! Don't tell me this can't work. And don't tell me George Lucas isn't greedy enough to make it work.

Update

Let's not forget the 3D version of SW that is allegedly in the works, where more tinkering will assuredly take place. And, just to make this interesting, consider that a) Apple is rumored to be getting into the tv market, b) the tv market is currently struggling with home 3D systems, and c) Steve Jobs, one-time Apple CEO, bought Pixar from whom? George Lucas. You see where this is leading. Don't tell me that an Apple 3D tv with a customizable Star Wars original trilogy wouldn't be the killer app of all time. Sold, Mr Cook, with no other information. Could even come only in Dalmation, just to test our loyalty.