SquidWatch for Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
Last updated January 26th, 2010
Horrible, yet awesome: squiddiest website EVER
Indie Squid Kid
Horrifyingly simple, and fastastically squiddalicious: indiesquidkid.com
However did I miss this through my clenched fingers?
The Colossal Squid Exhibition
Simply fantastic, and fantastically horrifying: squid.tepapa.govt.nz
Awesome, yet horrible (or horrible, yet awesome)
Giant Squid Eaten by Sperm Whale
A female sperm whale, carrying a piece of giant squid in her mouth, leads a gargantuan dinner party in the northwestern Pacific on October 15, 2009.
Chow down at: news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/10/photogalleries/giant-squid...
Not exactly “squiddy”, but you can’t really say what it is just yet....
'Monster Shark' Chomps Into Great White
A giant shark that could be up to 20ft long has sent shockwaves across Australian beaches after a great white was nearly bitten in half.
Chow down at: hnews.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Shark-Mauls-Great-White....
In my day, we’d call that “151”
Squid stranded on Tofino shore: More than 150 Humboldt juveniles found in the latest mass beaching
"Normally, these squid are found in at least 200 metres of water, but these immature squid probably came near the surface, perhaps encountered colder water or currents and became stranded on the beach."
Because of course, it’s all a matter of “maturity”.... Please also note the multiple references to “predators” in the horrific description: www.timescolonist.com/technology/Squid+stranded+Tofino+shore/1861540/story.html
Well, that’s a lousy way to start the day....
Massive Squid Washes Up on Beach in Quake Aftermath
Dozens of dazed Humboldt squid that were about three to four feet long and weighed close to 40 pounds were flapping around on La Jolla Shores beach.
Flapping because they’re also known as the “jumbo flying squid”: www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Giant-Squid-Wash-Up-Minutes-After-SoCal-Quake--.html
See, this is what I’ve been saying all this time....
The Real Systemic Risk: Cephalopods
Over the last few years, we have meticulously detailed the likelihood that the Age of Man will soon give way to the Age of Cephalopod. They are much larger, they are much stronger, and have unique swivelling hooks on the clubs at the ends of their tentacles. More importantly, they are much smarter than we are as evidenced by the facts that they have avoided The Great Regression entirely, they have positioned themselves to benefit from Global Warming
See the future at longorshortcapital.com/the-real-systemicrisk-cephalopods.htm
A whole whack (and we do mean “whack”) of squid videos
Awesome Octopi: Cephalopods from Outer Space
Just horrible.
See the horror at www.darkroastedblend.com/2009/02/awesome-octopi-cephalopods-from-outer.html
I don't think they were playing volleyball, but you never know....
Giant squid netted in Victoria
The six-metre long, 230-kilogram squid was still alive when it was netted by commercial fishermen last night.... Bob McPherson of the local sport and Game Fishing Club says it is not the first squid netted off Portland, but it is the largest.
See the horror at www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/26/2256117.htm
Colossal squid has giant eyes
A rare, colossal squid weighs 1,100 pounds and has eyes that measure 11 inches across.
Watch the horror at www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/04/30/new.zealand.giant.squid.ap
SquidCam:
Flinch from the horror at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK2J-6nLJLQ. (Via Pharyngula)
'Tis the Season to be Squishy
Order all the horror at cafepress.com/orderofstnick.194679201.
Oddly, the answer is pretty much "Dear God, no!"
In Search of the Giant Squid [excerpt]
Desperate to know how squid mate? Curious to see the squishy innards of squid?
Choice pun, possibly intended:
- 12 noon
- Squid Dissection with the Seattle Aquarium
- 1 pm
- Learn about cutting-edge, real-time ocean observation technology with Professor of Oceanography John Delaney
Is Leonard Nimoy involved?
Read all the horror at burkemuseum.blogspot.com/2007/09/squids.html.
How many "much's" is that?
Giant squid washes up in Tasmania [excerpt]
The colossal squid, only recently discovered, is shorter than the giant squid but much, much nastier.
Which is not to imply that the giant is particularly easygoing....
Read all the horror at www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/07/11/1183833568590.html.
No, not the Whopper that comes with fries and a shake.... Well, maybe a shake.
Bus-sized squid washes up on beach [excerpt]
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
- Squid as long as a bus washes up on an Australian beach
- Zoologists describe the find as a "whopper"
- Giant squid live in waters off southern Australia and New Zealand
Is it just me, or are they really reaching on those "highlights"? Bonus: could the "big" in the URL there be at all the same as "giant" or "colossal"? Or is this a whole new beast?
Read all the horror at www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/07/11/big.squid.ap/index.html.
Even I would never have guessed this one....
UH Researchers To Investigate 'Octosquid' [excerpt]
Scientists at the University of Hawaii at Manoa will soon have a chance to investigate a creature that appears to be half squid, half octopus that was found in waters off the Big Island.
Sounds a bit Pythonesque: "half squid, half octopus, three-quarter badger, all man...."
Read all the horror at www.thehawaiichannel.com/news/13630402/detail.html?rss=hon&psp=news. Horrifying picture included.
Jumboes on the move....
Calamari Anyone?
"Bringing them up in droves....", "Not all good news" — how is any of this good news?
View all the horror at http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/tech/2007/06/06/johnson.ca.jumbo.squid.kcal.
Man, Steve O'Shea is like the Dick Cheney of the squid world....
Tire-sized calamari rings? Half-ton squid reeled in [excerpt]
A fishing crew has caught a colossal squid that could weigh a half-ton and prove to be the biggest specimen ever landed, a fisheries official said Thursday.
If calamari rings were made from the squid they would be the size of tractor tires, one expert said.
The squid, weighing an estimated 990 pounds and about 39 feet long, took two hours to land in Antarctic waters, New Zealand Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said.
Colossal squid, known by the scientific name Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, are estimated to grow up to 46 feet long and have long been one of the most mysterious creatures of the deep ocean.
If original estimates are correct, the squid would be 330 pounds heavier than the next biggest specimen ever found.
"I can assure you that this is going to draw phenomenal interest. It is truly amazing," said Dr. Steve O'Shea, a squid expert at the Auckland University of Technology.
Colossal squid can descend to 6,500 feet and are extremely active, aggressive hunters, he said.
It's the "active, aggressive hunters" part that keeps me up at night.
Read all the horror at www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/02/22/colossal.squid.ap/. Horrifying pictures included.
Or, it could be the other way 'round....
Researchers catch giant squid [excerpt]
A Japanese research team has succeeded in filming a giant squid live -- possibly for the first time -- and says the elusive creatures may be more plentiful than previously believed, a researcher said Friday.
The research team, led by Tsunemi Kubodera, videotaped the giant squid at the surface as they captured it off the Ogasawara Islands south of Tokyo earlier this month. The squid, which measured about 24-feet long, died while it was being caught.
The captured squid was caught using a smaller type of squid as bait*, and was pulled into a research vessel "after putting up quite a fight," Kubodera said.
"It took two people to pull it in, and they lost it once, which might have caused the injuries that killed it," he said.
The squid, a female, was not fully grown and was relatively small by giant squid standards.
* This means they're cannibals as well, as if they weren't creepy enough....
Read all the horror at www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/12/22/giant.squid.ap/. Horrifying video included.
Of course it’s named “Archie”....
Giant squid goes on display [excerpt]
A monstrous giant squid, Architeuthis dux , goes on display at the Natural History Museum this week.
The 8.62-metre squid, called Archie, was caught off the coast of the Falkland Islands in March 2004. Visitors to the tank room of the Museum's Darwin Centre can view it as part of the behind-the-scenes Explore tours.
Scientists know very little about these creatures and much of what we do know comes from the remains of dead or dying specimens, many retrieved from the stomachs of sperm whales.
Archie is not the largest specimen ever caught, that record belongs to an 18.5-metre specimen caught in Island Bay, New Zealand in 1880.
Archie was caught live and is almost complete making it a very important specimen for research. Initial investigations suggest that Archie is female although this will be confirmed by future study.
The giant squid is the second largest living invertebrate, the first being the Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni , the colossal squid...
Read all the horror at http://www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/news/2006/feb/news_5255.html
First of many, methinks:
Video captures octopus attack on sub in B.C. [excerpt]
Rare video footage shows a giant octopus attacking a small submarine off the west coast of Vancouver Island.
Salmon researchers working on the Brooks Peninsula were shocked last November when an octopus attacked their expensive and sensitive equipment.
The giant Pacific octopus weighed about 45 kilograms, powerful enough to damage Mike Wood's remote-controlled submarine with its parrot beak.
Wood's first reaction was to panic, knowing the marine creature can exert a powerful bite. "That's when I hit reverse and I'm just blasting him with sand and particles," said Wood, who runs Suboceanic Ocean Science Services in Duncan, B.C. "Finally he lets go and disappears off into the gloom."
"It was desperation. It's a $2,000 machine, and it's not insured."
The rare footage, which has just been released, is believed to be the first documented attack on a sub.
No one knows what caused the octopus to attack. It may have been curious, looking for a meal or a girlfriend, said Jim Cosgrove of the Royal B.C. Museum.
None of us, of course, can really understand the octopus mind, so the quest for motivations is perhaps misguided—maybe they’re just vicious man-killing murderers of the deep....
Read the rest at http://www.cbc.ca/story/science/national/2006/01/27/octopus060127.html.
Literally, a “feast” for the eyes:
First pictures of live giant squid in its natural habitat [excerpt]
The first ever pictures of a live giant squid in its natural environment have been snapped in deep water off Japan. Working with a cheap camera and a fishing boat, the two Japanese researchers have succeeded where millions of dollars and international film crews have failed.
“This is very exciting. These pictures are a major leap forward for us,” says squid expert Mark Norman of Museum Victoria in Melbourne, Australia.
Tsunemi Kubodera of the National Science Museum in Tokyo and Kyoichi Mori of the Ogasawara Whale Watching Association in Tokyo collected more than 550 digital images taken over more than four hours. These show the squid repeatedly attempting to detach a bait dangling beneath the camera, which was at a depth of 900 metres.
The total length of the giant squid’s feeding tentacle is thought to be about 5.5 metres (Image: Royal Society)
I’d just like to point out that “5.5 meters” is about 3 times the height of the average adult human being.
Read the rest at http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn8064. Or, for a more technical overview of the horror, read this (PDF, 700kb).
Not a squid, exactly, but almost as horrid (or, in this case, breaded 'n' deep-fried):
Musical furry lobster feeling chirpy [excerpt]
A bizarre crustacean, tagged the 'musical furry lobster', has been found in Australian waters for the first time.
It's so unusual, with a furry shell and the ability to chirp, that scientists have placed it in its own genus.
But the lobster was almost lost to science.
Rumour has it the French researchers who discovered the world's first specimen in the 1980s didn't realise its significance. So, they ate it for dinner.
Read the rest at http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s1409156.htm
Oh, it’s clear all right:
Jumbo squid wash onto California beaches [excerpt]
Jan. 20, 2005 | Newport Beach, Calif. — Hundreds of giant squid are washing up on Orange County beaches, creating a scene more akin to "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" than "The O.C."
The bug-eyed sea creatures, believed to be Humboldt squid, normally reside in deep water and only come to the surface at night. Why approximately 500 of them began washing up on the sands of Laguna Beach and Newport Beach on Tuesday isn't clear.
In the words of Kent Brockman, let me be the first to bow down to our new squid overlords. Can I point out I’ve never eaten calamari?
On a stylistic note, I quite like the use of “believed” in the second p, instead of, oh, say, “thought”—“believed” indicates perhaps that the squid just told the reporter they were indeed Humboldt squid, no harm here, ha ha, and the gullible reporter just said “well, golly, they sure look trustworthy, can’t see why not believe ’em....”
Read the rest at http://www.salon.com/news/wire/2005/01/20/jumbo_squid/index.html
Can it get weirder than this—
Peru drugs hidden in giant squid [excerpts]
Police in Peru have seized about 700kg of cocaine hidden in frozen giant squid bound for Mexico and the US.
The drugs - worth about $17.5m - were sealed in several layers of plastic and other wrapping material and covered in pepper to divert sniffer dogs.
Police seized the drugs hidden in a container of 25 tons of giant squid about to leave Paita (Piura) for Mexico.
Interior Minister Javier Reategui said that police operations had uncovered a drug-trafficking organisation using a fish-exporting company.
Read the full article at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4016291.stm.
If it’s us vs. them, it sounds like they’re winning. What worries me is, what do they want?
Giant squid ‘taking over world’ [excerpts]
By Simon Benson
Giant squid are taking over the world, well at least the oceans, and they are getting bigger.
According to scientists, squid have overtaken humans in terms of total bio-mass.
That means they take up more space on the planet than us.
Squid are now regarded as the “major player” in the world oceans by sheer volume alone.
Dr George Jackson from the Institute of Antarctic and Southern Ocean studies in Tasmania said squid thrived during environmental disasters such as global warming.
The animal ate anything in that came their way, bred whenever possible and kept growing.
The Food and Agricultural Organisation of the UN supports the theory claiming squid landings have been increasing over the past 25 years at greater rates than fish.
Read the full article at http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,4811363^13762,00.html. Though undated, apparently it comes from 2002.
I’m trying to imagine three more horrifying words than "jumbo", "flying", and "squid", but I just can’t. That’s the last thing I need, to be walking along, minding my own business, and whack, hit in the face by some slimy, eight-armed creep. You’ll notice that the article below doesn’t mention the range of these beasts—is anywhere safe?
Squid catch stuns scientists [excerpts]
Friday, October 15, 2004 Posted: 8:24 PM EDT (0024 GMT)
SITKA, Alaska (AP) — A large Humboldt squid caught offshore from Sitka is among numerous sightings of a species seen for the first time in waters of the Far North, and the first of the species recovered from British Columbia waters.
The 5-foot Dosidicus gigas, or jumbo flying squid, was shipped this week to California to be kept for research at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History.
The farthest north the species has been reported until this year was off the coast of Oregon in 1997, said James A. Cosgrove, manager of natural history at the Royal British Columbia Museum. Before that year, the farthest north it was seen was near San Francisco, he said.
Until this summer, there have been no other sightings in the north, Cosgrove said.
“It’s unprecedented,” he said. “It speaks of a fundamental change in the ocean along the coast.”
The museum is keeping a 6 1/2-foot, 44-pound Dosidicus gigas in a formaldehyde tank. The purple-bodied cephalopod with eight sucker-covered arms and two curly tentacles was caught October 2.
Read the full article at http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/10/15/flying.squid.ap/index.html
Does it get more ominous than this:
McSweeney’s: [Kat Bolstad] said: “We know there is at least one other very large squid in the Antarctic, known exclusively from large beaks and small individuals, and it’s also possible there are squid down there so big and mean that not even a sperm whale will go near them.” Does this squid have a name? Is it bigger than the Colossal?
[Dr. Steve O’Shea, Senior Research Fellow at Aukland University of Technology]: It is something we are keeping under wraps at present.... There’s plenty down there to explore and discover yet, including some things that will be rather frightening or formidable.
Earlier, the interviewer got things off on what can only be called a sensible note:
McSweeney’s: How long would it take a Colossal [squid] to eat me?
Bolstad: Well, if the Antarctic waters didn’t kill you pretty much straight off the bat, you’d be looking at being restrained by those eight hooked arms as long as it took the squid to slice you into bite-sized pieces with its beak, then rasp the pieces small enough to fit down the esophagus, using the radula, a cartilaginous toothed tongue behind the beak. It would take a while. You’d probably rather drown.
Boy, no kidding.
Interview with Steve O’Shea and Kat Bolstad in McSweeney’s No. 11.
A long profile on Steve O’Shea is was also available from The New Yorker. Also, an interview with David Grann from the same issue.
