He's a Limey and a lover
His hardware's turning green
He's a middle-aged romantic
Wants to run the big machine

He's got a problem with his linens
But you know he'll find a cure
He's cleaning up his systems
To keep his icons pure

Learning to match the beat of the Windows Phone man
Learning to catch the heat of the BlackBerry man

He's got to clean up your mistakes
And learn to mend the mess you've made
He's old enough to know what's right
So you don't have to choose it
He's rich enough to win the world
His 30% "tax" can make them lose it -

He's no skeuuuuuuomoooooorphic maaaaan...

He's added radio receivers
Built in factories with ARMs
He's a poet and a teacher
And a bald man with burly arms
He's got a problem with his power
But he'll charge it on the dock
He's got to draw a fine line
Or up his design's they'll cock

Trying to save the day for the feature phone hicks
Trying to pave the way for the iPhone Six
He's not concerned with yesterday
He knows constant change is here today
He's smart enough to know what's right
And you don't get to choose it
He's wise enough to win the world
But man, Forstall really made him lose it

He's no skeuuuuuuomoooooorphic maaaaan...